How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
