why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
