Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize