Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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