You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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