what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
