Since when is my name a synonym for head?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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