i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I would fuck him just for his dog
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
