i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
