I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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