I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
