Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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