I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
