I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
