I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize