If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
