It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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