so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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