3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
