Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
