We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
