woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
