I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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