Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
