He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
