you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
