why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this just has baby written all over it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
