Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its not stalking. its research.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
