Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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