spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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