btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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