If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
