i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
