he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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