My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
