I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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