I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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