toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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