I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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