even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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