just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
