if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
