When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
