Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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