I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
