i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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