you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
false alarm, still single
Randomize
