My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
