Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
