plz talk dirty to me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
