i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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