Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize