Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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