Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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