Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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