he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
