are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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