Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
