Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
