I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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