We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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