We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
